Job: Mayor of Wasillia

Job Description:

• Morning - stop at McDonalds and buy prisoner breakfast. City Hall has 20% discount on Egg McMuffins every Tuesday. Use discount card in right drawer.
• Unlock front door of City Hall. May need to jiggle key.
• Make sure no bears have entered the premises. If any bear present, shoot with semi-automatic rifle, located in corner of office, next to wood stove.
• Take out empty beer bottles left by evening crew. Restock beverage locker (old refrigerator underneath moose head).
• Bring breakfast to prisoner. If no prisoner, Mayor may eat said breakfast.
• Attend to various Mayoral duties - Make sure office supplies (TP, ammunition, etc) are adequate for the day. Spray city hall outhouse with Glade (recommend Pine scent). Hold morning meeting with current city Deputy - (morning meetings postponed due to Deputy disability caused by recent bear attack). Drive perimeter of town, (approximately 1 mile around), looking for vagrants, bums, hobos, vagabonds, or other “riff raff”, that may be lurking in town unlawfully, utilizing town resources. If alive, escort said vagrants to next town over. Mayor may use official town vehicle, if not frozen, for above vagrant inspection (blue scooter, next to back door). Previous vehicle sold on eBay to pay for last months office supplies.
• Develop plan to reform town Health Care system (First Aid kit in closet next to refrigerator). Make sure First Aid kit is still present since last heath care emergency (see bear attack on Deputy, above).
• Call Town Engineer (garbage attendant), and provide instruction on the day’s route. City Engineer may be asleep, or hungover. May have to go to residence.
• Review current Town Cash status (see red petty cash box, next to rifle). Petty Cash short $9.51 from last month.
• Initiate full Investigation of any petty cash shortage. See shortage above.
• If time permits, travel to other municipal offices in town and interact with employees. (one employee in post office, located in dry goods store next door)
• Turn off lights and lock front door.

Email all applications to town hall. Computer cable may be down due to frequent snow storms, so might be better to hand deliver.