Job: Mayor of Wasillia

Job Description:

• Morning - stop at McDonalds and buy prisoner breakfast. City Hall has 20% discount on Egg McMuffins every Tuesday. Use discount card in right drawer.
• Unlock front door of City Hall. May need to jiggle key.
• Make sure no bears have entered the premises. If any bear present, shoot with semi-automatic rifle, located in corner of office, next to wood stove.
• Take out empty beer bottles left by evening crew. Restock beverage locker (old refrigerator underneath moose head).
• Bring breakfast to prisoner. If no prisoner, Mayor may eat said breakfast.
• Attend to various Mayoral duties - Make sure office supplies (TP, ammunition, etc) are adequate for the day. Spray city hall outhouse with Glade (recommend Pine scent). Hold morning meeting with current city Deputy - (morning meetings postponed due to Deputy disability caused by recent bear attack). Drive perimeter of town, (approximately 1 mile around), looking for vagrants, bums, hobos, vagabonds, or other “riff raff”, that may be lurking in town unlawfully, utilizing town resources. If alive, escort said vagrants to next town over. Mayor may use official town vehicle, if not frozen, for above vagrant inspection (blue scooter, next to back door). Previous vehicle sold on eBay to pay for last months office supplies.

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“……The irony is, the only people McCain can count on to vote for him are the very Republicans he despises — at least those of us who can get drunk enough on Election Day to pull the lever for him. In fact, we should organize parties around the country where Republicans can get drunk so they can vote for McCain. We can pass out clothespins with his name as a reminder and slogan-festooned vomit bags. The East Coast parties can post the number of drinks necessary for the task to help the West Coast parties. For more information, go to getdrunkandvote4mccain.com…..”

With friends like this McCain needs no enemies…Hitspot.com editor

Very Latest: Obama picked Senator Joe Biden, one of the top Democrats in the Senate, for his choice as VP running mate.  Most pundits said it was a solid pick for Obama and would help him in the final months of the election.  Biden will be challenging for Republicans as he is a good debator and does not mind getting into a fight.

Last week summary: Media outlets across the country have reported that candidate Obama might announce his VP selection today. News crews are stationed at all three homes of the most popular possibilities: Biden, Bayh and Governor Kaine. First word of the news will come via a text message to all Obama supporters who have signed up to receive the official announcement from the campaign.

WASHINGTON - Presidential candidate Barack Obama said Friday the running mate he has chosen — but has not yet announced — had to meet three standards to join the Democratic ticket: Prepared to be president, able to help him govern and willing to challenge his thinking.

Those criteria did little to narrow the guessing game as Obama prepared for a massive rally in Illinois on Saturday to present his No. 2 to the nation and undertake a pre-convention tour of battleground states. He planned to disclose his choice through text messages to supporters, perhaps as early as Friday.

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Senator McCain said in an interview, he’s not sure how many homes he has. “I think I’ll have my staff get back to you”………How does he not know how many homes he has? And, if you don’t know how many you have, do you really need all those homes?

If he can’t answer that, how will he answer other questions?

How many cabinet members do you have? McCain: “I’ll get back to you.” How about the no. of Supreme Court Justices? “My Friends, that’s a very good question”. How many states in the Union? “I know that one! 50! My staff just informed me.”

Yes yes, Senator McCain, you’re an American hero. And yes, you’ve suffered greatly for that, but seriously. Enough already with the prisoner of war story. Do you realize that you bring it up nearly every single day, in one way or another? We’re sick and tired of it, and we want to hear a much different story from you.

That was a long time ago, Senator McCain. We don’t really care about what happened way back then, because it doesn’t have any relationship to what’s going on today. You just keep harping on it, but you don’t tell us what it is that you’ve learned from it that will make you a better President. Or why it might be relevant to today’s issues. We don’t see any of that, and its something that we’d like to know.

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Electoral Vote Count
Obama
264
McCain
207

McCain has pulled closer in the Electoral Count which is the real test of the possible President. Last week Obama had a lead of 67 electoral votes, but that lead has decreased to 57 votes. The change could be based upon sentiment surrounding the latest events in Georgia. Or it could be that plus other factors within each state.

The results are based on the latest state polls. If a candidate has a polling lead of at least 4%, that candidate is given the state. Any state where the results show a lead of 3% or less is too close to call, and is not given to either candidate.

Have any comments on why this might be happening? Send them our way.

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